Jen Abundez

Fix My Problem!

2012-01-24T17:26:00.000-08:00

Sometimes you meet people and you immediately know that you will be friends with them. During my first week of college at SDSU I met Rauly. I knew immediately that I wanted to be friends with him because I could tell that he was talented and he was extremely funny. During the past few years we have shared many adventures together: a Zoo adventure, sharing theatre classes at school, studying for said theatre classes, watching plays and musicals, performing in multiple children's shows, traveling to Mexico City to perform a show we were a part of, a Sea World adventure, themed parties, putting together shows with a tiny budget, parties, etc. Throughout that time I have come to learn that not only is he a good actor but that he is also an incredibly gifted writer. (Check out his blog to view some of his writing samples.) He recently wrote a web-series and I was lucky enough to be a part of the first episode.

I also need to add that I'm lucky to call all those involved in this web-series my friends. All are incredibly talented performers who need to become famous quick just so the world can share in their talent!

Here is the first episode of Fix My Problem! titled Ghosts. Subscribe to the youtube page and check back weekly for new episodes.

Dying Bovines

2012-01-21T00:04:00.000-08:00

I've spent the last few years performing improv and sketch comedy. Performing in the comedy world has been my absolute passion for the last few years. But there has been one thing that I have been wanting to do for a long time and that has been to learn how to play an instrument. I have a guitar, keyboard, and a flute in my house and although I have been wanting to learn how to play them I have just never managed to find the time, and money, to get lessons or to try to teach myself.

So my friends and I started a band called Dying Bovines. I believe that we have lots of talent and we are going to go far. So check out this video we shot during our amazing jam sesh. And don't forget to give us good ratings, subscribe, and share with your friends because you'll regret it once we are super famous.

Hello 2012!

2012-01-01T10:34:00.000-08:00

This past year was absolutely amazing for my creativity.

I began January 1, 2011, with some of my favorite people: The troupe members of Roar Theatre. We celebrated the New Year together in our new theater space. We were welcoming a new era in, an era in which we had our own place where we could rehearse, have shows, and have get togethers. In mid-January we had our first show at our new place. We also made the transition to having weekly shows instead of performing improv twice a month.

In February I got to be a part of a sketch show put on by the theatre group ALTO from San Diego State University titled Shots of Sketch 2: No Chaser. I was doing this show with college friends. All the sketches were written by people in the show and boy were they good sketches. I even wrote my first sketch for this show. It was a lot of fun to act alongside my talented friends.

Then Roar Theatre made the transition to have two improv shows every Friday night. It was a remarkable opportunity as well as a learning experience because we had to learn how to have enough energy for both audiences. Then, in July, we managed to put on 4 Harry Potter improvised-sketch shows title "Harry Potter: The College Years." As a huge Harry Potter nerd, this was my highlight of July if not my year!

Then the best thing happened with Roar theater. We all had to attempt to write sketches for our new sketch show. At first it was a daunting task because I don't consider myself a writer but I am so grateful to have had that push because now I know that it is something that I want to continue doing. I do admit the shift from improv to a scripted sketch show took me some time to adjust to, but I am completely grateful to have learned a different style and to get out of my comfort zone. I think our ongoing sketch show CATSPLOSION was a success.

This November we said goodbye to our theatre space and our farewell show was nothing less of brilliant. It was a tough transition to not have our weekly rehearsal and shows especially because I loved performing with this group. And although we don't have a physical space to call our own, I know we will still continue to perform. And as hard as it was to say goodbye, it did open up the door for me to start working on a few other projects.

Mid-November I auditioned and got in to the group The Fault Line Players. It has been an exciting transition to working on a slightly different style of improv with new people. It has also been an exciting challenge to begin memorizing scripts and working on characters.

Also in November, some fellow Roariors and I started working on a video sketch group called Flying Friendship Five. With them I have begun working on my writing for sketches. It is still a scary task to write but I know I have the support from my fellow Friends. In a short amount of time we have been a group, we have managed to begin putting together some amazing projects that I can't wait to share with the world!

2011 was an incredible year for my creativity and it was a year filled with lots of changes but I know Roar Theatre, Flying Friendship Five, and The Fault Line Players will accomplish some amazing things this year. So here I leave you with a sneak peek of the awesomeness that 2012 will bring for me.

Video by Flying Friendship Five

Intro to The Fault Line Players

2011-12-24T16:33:00.000-08:00

Joining The Fault Line Players has been a new and exciting process. I have met some new people who share a passion for performing. I have (slowly) begun the process to work on memorizing sketches. I have started the process of figuring out how my I will make my characters come to life. I have filled in my planner with our rehearsal schedule (and boy does that feel good!). But my favorite part is that I have slowly gotten to know some of the people in the group.

Last week we had our first improv rehearsal and at the end of the rehearsal a few of us were "interviewed" for an introduction video. Here it is for your enjoyment!

(Video shot by T. Falagan)

NitroJen's Etiquette Guide When Watching Live Theatre

2011-11-30T19:05:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine posted a link on his facebook of an article on yahoo about a new theater that will allow the use of cell phones during LIVE performances. As an actor I think this is the stupidest idea ever! I get that this theater wants to market to a "younger" audience but I would hate to be on stage in the middle of a climatic scene and look out at the audience and see 20 people texting. And as an audience member I think I would throw a fit in the middle of the performance if I saw people using their phone.

That article and my previous post on movie theater etiquette got me thinking about theater etiquette for watching plays, musicals, and live performances. I have seen countless productions ranging from school productions, amateur productions, staged reading of plays, improv shows, stand-up comedy, sketch shows, shows in open spaces, shows in a Black Box theater, touring Broadway tours, Broadway shows, shows on the West End, etc. And I'm an actor, so I consider myself a "theatre" person. (Notice I changed the ending to -re to appear fancier.)

But if people in today's society can barely function correctly watching a movie in a movie theater then it is time to address the etiquette one must maintain when watching live performances. Here are "NitroJen's Tips on Etiquette for Watching Theatre (and Other Live Performances)."

Silence or turn off cell phones. Putting your phone on vibrate is not the same as silencing it. When your phone vibrates it still makes noise and annoys people near you. It is not that hard to be away from texting, twitter, and facebook for 2 hours.
Plan to arrive at the theater/venue at least 15 minutes early. Most times the House, the lobby area, will open 15-30 minutes prior to the start of the performance. Arriving 15 minutes before the start of the show allows you ample time to do what you need to do. If I was the ruler of all theaters, I would ban late seating because it should never be used.
Do not leave before the performance is over. I admit I have been to a few productions that were absolutely horrendous and I couldn't wait to get out of there. But I have stuck it out until the performance is over. Leaving at intermission just makes you look like a douche-bag. And you think you're okay to do that because you feel that people won't notice but, news flash, EVERYONE NOTICES!
Do not leave your seat before the end of each act. Use the restroom before the show starts and during intermission. We can see you leaving!
Do not leave when the curtain call is happening. It is not the end of the show yet. I have been in the audience and onstage when I have seen people leave. Really?! You can't wait for two more fucking minutes to allow us actor's to enjoy our (hopefully) well-deserved curtain call?
Do not leave before the show is over. I can't stress this enough.
If you are watching a musical, please please please do NOT sing along. I'm aware that the song is absolutely amazing but I paid to watch the hired performers sing and not the person sitting next to me. Plus the few times this has happened to me, the person next to me that was singing was way out of tune and was hurting my eardrums.
Don't speak during the show. Even whispering can be heard from people sitting far away from you. Sometimes the actors can even hear it. Not to mention that it is annoying every time you move your head closer to the person you are whispering to because it distracts and blocks the view from the people sitting behind you.
No eating or drinking in the theater.
If you are going to a show that is suitable for children, make sure your children can behave for 2 hours. There is nothing more annoying than crying children or ones that can't stop talking. (But if your children can behave then bring them along because it warms my heart to see the next generation of theater lovers.)
Do not put your feet up on the seat in front of you. This is not a movie theater (although you shouldn't really put your feet up on seats there either).
Be careful with your body odor or perfume/cologne you wear. Sometimes it can be distracting. I once went to watch a show and the guy next to me was wearing this cologne that smelled incredibly good. Problem was that instead of focusing on the action onstage I was focusing on the guy next to me. Another time there was a lady who had the most disgusting B.O. ever. I was surprised I did not throw-up during the show. Moral of the story, make sure before you go to the theater that you take a shower and you don't put on an excessive amount of perfume/cologne.
Do not talk bad about the production until you are in your own car or at home! I have been to many local productions because I have known someone that is working on the show. So to hear people talking bad about them, the production, or others involved irks me because a lot of time, effort, and passion went into putting on the show. I've also been on the other side where I am not crazy about what I saw onstage. My friend and I went to go watch a show and we did not like the way a particular actor was performing but we held our tongues until we got inside my car. Once we were inside my car and safely away from the ears of anyone working on the show then, and only then, we began listing everything we disliked about the actor's performance. So it is okay to not like what you see and talk about it, but remember just do it when you are completely away from the production.
If you are watching an improv show, sketch comedy show, or local stand-up show there are a few different rules because sometimes they ask for audience interaction or they serve alcohol, but you still need to be mindful of your manners. You are not funnier than the person on stage. And if you happen to be funnier then go out there and perform! But since you are only in the audience then you shouldn't heckle. It annoys others and we all want to turn you into a human punching bag.
Be involved with the show. Laugh when something is funny. Gasp when you are shocked. Cry when you are touched or saddened. But don't add your own commentary. I've been performing improv and sketch comedy for a few years now. I do admit that as an actor in these kind of shows we tend to have better shows when the audience is involved and our shows tend to lag when the audience is apathetic. It is the nature of this kind of performance. One of my best shows was when the audience was laughing hysterically, gasping when they were shocked, clapping, and making noise that went along with what was happening on stage. Somehow that energy gets transferred to the actors. But on the other hand I was in a show where the people did not even want to yell out suggestions and I was also in a show where this guy kept adding his own commentary and was trying to impress his date. Those two situations were irritating because I did not need this guy to keep adding to our scenes and the purpose of these shows are audience interactions. So if you decide to attend an improv or sketch comedy show please be willing to participate in an appropriate manner.
Be on time to the show. I cannot stress this point enough. I leave you with this old saying that my theater director used to say to us, "When you are early, you are on time. When you are on time, you are late. When you are late, you are dead." So think twice about being late to a performance.

It is said that theater is a true community event. So please abide by these rules so that the community, (artists, technicians, backstage personnel, ushers, audience, and anyone else associated with the production), can have a wonderful and engaging experience.

Thought of the Day

2011-11-13T16:24:00.001-08:00

I feel like Twitter has given my generation the false impression that they can be journalists by simply retweeting other people's tweets.

NitroJen's Etiquette Guide for Movie Theaters

2011-11-07T17:02:00.000-08:00

Normally I have a very busy schedule so when I have some free time to watch movies I tend to opt for my Netflix instant queue as opposed to going out to the movies. The truth is that after a long day I prefer to watch Netflix because I can start the movie at any time, I can pause it whenever I want, I can even change movies if I don't like my original choice, and it is more convenient. And the most important point is that I don't have to deal with people who go to movie theaters because, sadly, it appears they have missed the life lesson on etiquette.

Earlier this week I decided to become adventurous and I went out to catch a movie with a friend. Everything seemed to be going okay. We planned out our evening based around the movie time. I walked up to the ticket booth and cringed when I had to hand over my hard-earned cash. And we were the first people there so we got to choose our VIP seats. But then things went sour. Although the theater was empty, people decided to sit in the seats in front of us and right next to me. People walked in late. People decided to add commentary to the movie. The children were loud and annoying. It reminded me of why I hardly go to the movies.

So I feel it is my duty to educate the public on good movie theater etiquette.

Don't talk to the people next to you. You may think that your "whispering" is quiet and no one will hear it but in fact you are actually talking in a "stage whisper" which means that MOST people can hear you! I did not want to hear you telling your date how your happy to be there with him. I don't care.
Don't talk to the movie. The characters can't hear you. Your commentary to the film distracts from the film and it is not funny. If you were a great commentator you would have been paid to add commentary to the movie before it was released in theaters.
Don't text. We don't care that you had the sudden urge to write something to someone, but we do care that the stupid light on your phone is blinding us. Everyone near you can sense, and see, the bright light. So just don't text.
Don't look at your phone for any reason. Googling something, checking IMDB to see where you have seen that actor before, checking the time, writing a memo, or whatever it is you are doing, just don't do it. Again, we can see the bright light emanating from your phone.
Put your phone on silent. You may be the most unpopular person in the world, but chances are, your phone will ring during the movie. Not only is your ringtone annoying but it also takes us away from the world of the movie. For the next two minutes we are silently cursing you in our minds and will most likely miss out on an important line in the movie.
If you somehow managed to forget that you did not put your phone on silent and it starts ringing, then you should immediately turn it off. Don't, don't, don't ever answer it. If you must answer it then put it on silent and wait until you get outside the theater to answer it.
If someone is sitting in front of you don't kick the chair. it is rude. Your lucky that I have the common decency to not turn around and punch you.
If someone is sitting next to the chair in front of you, don't put your feet up on the chair in front of you. We don't want to smell your feet.
Plan to get there on time. We all know that there will be a couple of minutes of previews but when you are tripping over people to get to a seat in the middle of the aisle, well you deserved to get "accidentally" tripped.
Use the restroom and buy all your concessions before the movie starts. It is not your living room where you can get up at your convenience.
No pda. We can hear that slurping sound. And we know it is not from an Icee.
If you are going to bring children, please make sure they are courteous and old enough to not talk, not cry, and not disturb people around them.
It is easy to just throw garbage on the floor while the movie is playing, but when it is done it would be nice to pick it up and throw it away.
When there are multiple seats open in the theater don't sit in front of me. My friend and I were the only ones in the theater and we were resting our feet on top of the chairs in front of us. This couple had the audacity to not only sit in the two seats in front of us but they gave us dirty looks to move our feet. Really?! You couldn't sit anywhere else?

For those of you that adhere to these rules, THANK YOU. For those of you that don't, well you are the problem with humanity.

Halloween

2011-10-31T19:15:00.000-07:00

(Photo by Roar Theatre)
Let the witches and ghouls come out to play
For this fun event that lasts only one day
Enjoy your time being something you're not
Whether it's scary, adorable, creative, or hot
Go out and play lots of tricks on your peers
Bringing to life their most distressing fears
Remember to go out and receive some treats
Because strangers are giving away food in the streets
Just don't get stuck under quarantine
To have a very Happy Halloween!

Peace! Love! Freedom! Happiness!

2011-10-24T18:12:00.000-07:00

(Photo by Walfred)
This past week (Oct. 18, 2011), my awesome friend texted me to let me know that she had an extra ticket to see the national touring production of Hair. I was beyond ecstatic because I was dying to see the production but also because (1) I was probably going to go see it by myself and (2) with my budget I would only be able to purchase the cheap seats. Lucky for me, my friend had a comp ticket!

Theatre = awesome time!
Theatre + Free Ticket + hanging out with a friend = supremely-fabulously-amazingly-awesome time!

Since it was opening night for the show in San Diego, we decided to dress up a bit. After scoring a VIP parking spot in Downtown for free, we made our way to the Civic Center. My friend went to will call to pick up the tickets and to our surprise,(she got the tickets from work so she didn't know her seats), we had seats in the center of the second row! The seats were beyond amazing. The show itself was fantastic! I don't intend to write a review of the show here because you can find many online, but I will say that the experience of watching the show left me with a mix of emotions ranging from inspired, angry, sad, happy, confused, bitter, silly, and serious. The show starts off with minor audience interactions to help get you into the "tribe" spirit. The show is filled with familiar songs (even if you are not a big musical theater fan you will be able to recognize at least a song), there are funny moments, sad moments, thought provoking moments, aha! moments, inspiring moments, and so forth.

But my favorite part came at the end of the show. When the "tribe," or cast of the show, took their curtain call because they invited audience members to join them onstage to dance. My friend and I jumped at the opportunity to get up on that stage. I'm pretty sure I may have ran some people over or stepped on a few toes, but I could not miss my opportunity to stand on that stage. It may sound a bit silly, but those few minutes that they had us up on the stage reinforced in me my desire to continue being a performer. Being able to stand on the stage that I have seen countless shows in was a surreal experience.

After the show we got to attend the cast party. I got the opportunity to speak with a few of the cast members who were extremely nice! It was interesting to hear about the rigorous schedule they are under and how sometimes they wish to have a day off and not do the show, even though they are living their dream and they wouldn't give that up. How they have been auditioning like crazy. What hobbies they must maintain on tour to remain sane. What they must do to have energy to perform eight shows a week. How they stay healthy. What it is like to have performed Hair on Broadway, the West End, and the National Tour.

But the most important thing I learned is to keep fighting for your dreams no matter how long it takes or how difficult it seems and to always remain humble.

Mine Observations

2011-10-12T17:30:00.000-07:00

Killing two birds with one stone is impressive. Killing two elephants with one stone is even more impressive.

Since San Diego Police Department is known as "America's Finest" does that mean that average looking people trying to be a police officer won't be admitted because they are not considered good looking?

If racehorses pee a lot, do regular horses hate them when they take over the bathroom during parties?

Since the moon is made of cheese should we just go ahead and melt it to make enough nacho cheese for everyone in the world?

When products, such as hair dryers, state "Do not use while sleeping" does using it while sleepwalking count?

My Christmas lights has a label that says "For indoor or outdoor use only." Did I have a third option of where to use them?

Why do people get the day off from work to celebrate "Christopher Columbus" day when it takes a lot of work to take over a land, spread disease, and kill the natives?

When Odyseus returned home his wife welcomed him with open arms. When Tom Hanks character in "Castaway" went missing for some time and returned home his wife was already with another man. Times have changed.

Why is it that in beer commercials they show people being happy and cool but they never show people acting like complete drunken-douchebags?

Why are gays in the closet?

For commercials that tell you that an actor is actually playing the part, did they really think that television viewers were stupid enough not to realize that actors play these roles?

Do Roar Theatre

2011-10-06T12:21:00.000-07:00

The awesome website "365 things to do in San Diego" has chosen Roar Theatre as one of the things you need to do in San Diego! Just in time for the opening of our new sketch show "Catsplosion." So make sure to do Roar Theatre, and do us often!

Bow chicka wow wow.

NitroJen's Friday Night Comedy Party

2011-08-02T14:47:00.000-07:00

I was having a meeting with Travis, the insanely-talented founder of Roar Theatre, a few weeks back about my teaching plans for the group. (I am very fortunate that I am allowed to teach there!) Near the end of the conversation he asked me if I would be interested in being the MC for a show.

I had actually never considered being the MC. Ever since I joined the troupe, Travis has been our MC for about 95% of the shows. And it is something that he has done extremely well! I just assumed that I would maintain my role as an actor. As a creature of habit, I have gotten comfortable with acting on that stage because I know what to expect. Being the MC would bring an exciting challenge.

So once he asked me that question I immediately told him that I did want to try it out. So we set a date for me to MC my first show: Friday July 29. I had two weeks to prepare a show and get feedback. I started working on the show that night. I was too excited to delay my preparation. I made a master list of ALL the games we have ever played in a show so I could chose which games I would incorporate into my show. It wasn't that hard to do because I have a copy of every show I have been in so I could just take the games and list them in a master document. (Yes, I confess that I have kept our "games set list" from each show we have done.)

I worked on my show everyday until the night before. I would change the order of the games around, and then changed them again until I was satisfied. I would write out which games the actors would be in then change that a few times. I wrote so many suggestions that I think I had at least 2 shows full of them. I even wrote out an entire script for myself of what I would say as an introduction to the show, how I would explain each game, how I would transition between games, and how I would close the show out. I did that just in case I got nervous.

Being the MC was a different experience than acting in our shows but I had so much fun! My fellow actors were so supportive and they did an amazing job in the show! I even, accidentally, began using a catch phrase, "It's true!". No one in the audience threw food at me and they seemed to have a good time out there. And the best part was that the show ran smoothly. The only bad thing was that it went by way too fast!

I look forward to doing it again someday!

NitroParents Review Roar Show

2011-06-19T12:17:00.000-07:00

NitroParents were planning to spend a Friday night going out. They didn’t know where to go on their date night, so I suggested they attend a Roar Theatre show and watch my friends and I perform. They said no. I told them they had an obligation to support their child by attending her show. They said they would think about it. After a few days of crying, begging, throwing tantrums, bribing, and finally blackmailing, they decided to attend a show. I asked them to review the show and here is what they said.

NitroDad
When they were asking suggestions I wanted to say some but I did not know if it would be right or wrong. So I just sat there. Are there wrong suggestions? How do people know what to suggest? I suggested things in my head. Well, there were some good things in the show. It was very funny. I liked it. I did. I’m funny. Do you want to hear one of my jokes? I went to a party yesterday and a white guy cut in front of the food line right in front of me. He turned around and said, “Sorry, I hope you don’t mind that a gringo cut in front of you.” I asked him if he knew the origins of the word gringo. He said no. So I told him I was going to tell him how the story came about of the word gringo. Here let me tell you. It is a funny joke. A long time ago a white man went to Tijuana before they called them gringos. He was driving and he came across the only stoplight in Tijuana and it was a red light so he stopped. He started looking at stuff in his car and didn’t realize that the light had turned green. So the police came by and kept yelling “Green, go! Green, go! Green, go!” So from then on that word was associated with white people. (NitroDad paused his review for a three minute laugh fest). That was a good joke. I like telling that one. I can tell that during a Roar show and the audience will laugh a lot. You know I am funnier than you. Can I join the group?

NitroMom
Very nice show and, uh, I like the natural comeback from all of your suggestions given from the public. I don’t know how to explain it to you but every time they got a suggestion you were all able to do scenes. That was nice that you could take a word and just keep talking and sometimes something funny would be said. All of you were fine. I liked it. Good hell of a job. But in the dancing part I am sure I can teach you some steps. Those two guys that did the dancing scene did a good job and they were funny! But I could have done better. Back in my day, I would always dance crazy. Gee, I almost got up when you guys had the music. Especially at the end of the show, the music was calling me to the stage. I wanted to jump on the stage and give a good performance to show off my dancing skills. The music got my adrenaline going high. I felt the music in my body. I am sure if I got on stage to dance it would have been a better show. The music at the end of the show was very danceable. Who chose it? They did a good job of selecting songs. I started dancing in my seat. The cast was saved from my dancing because my husband pulled my blouse to sit down. Keep up the good job and I wish you guys luck. You might need it since the funniest part was seeing a bunch of losers on stage.

NitroParents: funnier, better dancers, and being supportive since… well, you get the idea.

OPERATION: S.L.U.T.

2011-06-07T14:45:00.000-07:00

I just happened to be updating my supply of deadly ninja star products at a local Target where I overheard an 80 year old woman tell her grandson that he must embark upon a quest of epic proportions to continue the family tradition. It was his duty as a single nerd to create mass boring confusion in today's society. By doing this he would be granted access to the secret supply of delicious chocolate hidden in her safe and he would be given a special medal. You know one of those medals that you can show off to people at parties and they actually care to talk about it. The kind of medal that can grant you special privileges because the shininess momentarily blinds your opponent’s train of thought and ability to use common sense.

I quickly grabbed the purple and gold ninja stars and proceeded to secretly dance out of aisle twelve. I processed the information I had just heard on the miniature computer on my PEZ dispenser. I realized that I needed to muster all my courage to stop these evil villains from draining the world of fun. I grabbed some mints and left to go plot out my plan at the holiest of meeting places; Starbucks. I did not know what to do so I searched for inspiration by finishing a Sudoku puzzle, finishing a coloring book, and initiating a rap battle with the oldest person I could see. Then it hit me; I needed to become my inner superhero and protect humanity. I needed to conquer this villain of apathy, carelessness, seriousness, and bad hygiene. That was the beginning of OPERATION: S.L.U.T. (Stop Local Unreliable Talent).

I paid my grandma $20 to make me a costume and that was the birth of “NitroJen: Comedic Superhero.” I would go on patrol every night to defend the world of people who try to make us too serious. But I would have to stop patrol at 9:30pm because I had a curfew. I battled against high-school bullies, politicians, psychics, and comedians who force their funny on the audience – all in preparation for my major battle with the Grandson Nerd.

When I felt ready to battle him I lured him to The Cave of Wonders for the real showdown a la Mortal Kombat status. The first round was a match of Connect Four. He won that first round. I was weaker than I had imagined so I prayed to the almighty Will Ferrell to help me win this battle. Round Two was a race through the Temple run from Legends of the Hidden Temple. We were neck and neck and it all came down to assemble the Shrine of the Silver Monkey. I put it together in record time while he fumbled around. Now it was down to the final round – Comedy Gladiator. We had 30 minutes to do improv in front of an audience and at the end the audience will vote on who was the all around funny person. It was tough. He immediately used the pop culture card but he exhausted all his jokes at the beginning. I, on the other hand, chose to take the audience on an intellectual journey without cheap jokes. It was close, but I had defeated the Grandson Nerd!

NitroJen continues to patrol every night in hopes of completing OPERATION: S.L.U.T. to rid the world of bad comedy. (She wrote this in the third person to sound more intelligent.)

Dreaming in the Language of Rap

2011-05-13T20:30:00.000-07:00

Getting ready to go to my show
But first you gotta listen to my flow
Making people laugh is my motivation
I'm preparing for comedic world domination
So remember me now as a nobody
'Cause someday soon i'll be a major somebody

The Stage

2011-01-27T18:27:00.000-08:00

I used to think that Warp Zones were things of childhood fantasies. Something that was invented by the video game companies to berate normal citizens for not being able to actually have the use of a Warp Zone to escape the boring normalcy associated with adulthood. Or something that was invented by children's imaginations to retort at their parents when they got upset with them, like this (that may or may not be based on a real situation):

“Jen I want you to clean your room right now.”

“Nah, Mom. I am going up to the Warp Zone that is my bed to warp to a different world where I never have to clean my room again.”

But my view on Warp Zones changed this week when I uncovered one recently. It was a seemingly normal afternoon filled with chocolate milk, my incredible rapping skills, and fantasies of being a superhero. I went to a secret society meeting for stupendously awesome people known to the blessed few as rehearsal. There everything seemed ordinary: people joining together in perfect unison like lost pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. But I was unaware that a supernatural force was taking our energy to create something so magical.

I have heard that often Warp Zones are cleverly hidden and disguised in what appears to be everyday objects. But since there are not many left in this world I never thought to be cautious when stepping on The Stage. The moment I planted my foot on “The Stage” something inside me transformed. My body was still in the present but my mind traveled to a different land which caused me to say some weird things. I opened my mouth to speak and I could hear my voice but the words were not mine. They were not even connected to my brain. I spoke about cowboys giving the lottery away and the arsenic police; things I would not speak about in everyday life.

I felt so different; strange, yet alive. I was hooked. The Stage became my drug and I needed to step on it as many times as I could that night. I continued to fight others to step on The Stage just to continue feeling that freedom that it allowed me when my brain was in another dimension. The out of body experience of not knowing what you are going to say next was exhilarating. It also helped that others were complimenting my newfound train of thought, although it actually didn’t belong to me or this world. I knew at once that this Warp Zone had changed my life because my brain was addicted to leaving my body and going to other dimensions.

This clever device that is a secret Warp Zone, known as The Stage, is actually to blame for all the weirdness that goes on in that room: people acting like other characters, people speaking in strange dialects, people embarrassing themselves, people putting on a show, and even people laughing. All this is actually a result of The Stage taking over our brains and transferring it to another dimension while we are standing on it.

You are probably thinking that this Warp Zone doesn’t seem so dangerous because you won’t be physically stepping up on that Stage. But you must keep in mind that to create the Warp Zone it feeds off of people’s souls who are nearby. You know this has happened when you experience the side-effects of extreme happiness, laughter, camaraderie, and the desire to keep returning to every Roar show. So if you choose to witness the only Warp Zone located on the West Coast, then go ahead and stop by Roar Theatre on Fridays at 9pm. Remember this phenomenon is not for the faint of heart.

You have been warned.

thankFULLness

2010-11-20T13:42:00.000-08:00

I am thankful for:

- The original Power Rangers
- Hugs!!!
- Dogs who love their owners unconditionally
- Texting
- How easy it is to stalk people on facebook
- Netflix instant viewing
- Show tunes
- Ghost hunting shows
- Unrequited love
- Music
- The beauty of the sunset
- Jumping in puddles
- My Power Rangers ringtone
- The Nickelodeon shows that were on when I was a kid
- People that support you, even when you want to wear a bad outfit out in public
- Laughter
- People with worse fashion choices than myself
- Polka doted rain boots
- British accents
- Lilies
- The color purple. (The color not the movie.)
- Calculators
- Mexican food
- Party
- Awkward silences
- Dreams
- Girly alcoholic beverages
- The acoustics in the shower that make my singing sound pleasant
- The 80's
- Inside jokes
- Bad elevator music
- Cereals
- Dancing to your own beat
- Rainbows
- Footsie pjs
- The smell of fresh rain on the grass
- Public libraries
- Cuddling
- Harry Potter
- The monster under my bed
- Mascara
- Traveling
- Yummy food
- Theater, films, & television
- That most men in the NFL look sexy in their football uniforms
- Comedy

The A-Z of Roar

2010-11-09T14:34:00.000-08:00

A is for acting
That ROAR is really good at
B is for badass
To use during comedic combat

C is for creativity
That flows through our veins
D is for our debauchery
That’ll give you laughter pains

E is for excellence
Which we have plenty of
F is for fun
That we give you with love

G is for games
That we incorporate with you
H is for a comedic hallucination
That we hope to make true

I is for our style of improv
That is truly unique
J is for our jokes
The highlight of your week

K is for the kaleidoscope
Of quirky stage images
L is for the laughter
That our audience witnesses

M is for a masterpiece
That we create on the spot
N is for our lack of normalcy
That makes us the big shot

O is for outshining
All the other competition
P is for playing pretend
And getting positive recognition

Q is for the quirkiness
That we present to all
R is for the randomness
With our language curve ball

S is for the stage
Where it all comes alive
T is for talent
For which we strive

U is for unity
And the family we create
V is for the validation
That is foretold by our fate

W is for the world
That is ours for the taking
X is for marking the spot
Where we are always playing

Y is for you
Our faithful viewers
And Z is for zeal
Because we are comedic rulers

THE ORIGINS OF HOLLYWOOD

2010-10-29T18:53:00.000-07:00

As I sit here starring at the television screen and seeing the unfortunate falseness that has been encompassing our gullible souls, I feel the need to warp through the internet communication system to single-handedly emerge inside the mostly-unknown magical land of “TV World.” Few have ever attempted the journey to this magical little kingdom where the robotic-dwarves exist. These robotic-dwarves are actively in charge of putting up images in our screens to distract us from the truth.

In the 1920’s these robotic-dwarves were on the verge of extinction. But on a Thursday morning in August of 1921, four middle-aged fat men told their wives that they were going to work and instead went to pig out at their local diner. While recovering from their food coma in the living room of the “Lard Leader” they had a vision, almost like a prophecy. They realized that human souls are extremely gullible. (Human souls are not as gullible as the souls of pandas or the elusive Komodo dragon souls that are only harvested during a full moon in the month of October) They decided that in order to fulfill their childhood fantasies of ruling the world they invented a little thing called “Hall-E-Would.”

They took a journey on a yellow brick road that was less traveled to meet with some business executives to pitch their mind-boggling plan: to take control over society through images projected on screens that would be accessible to every household. This crazy and futuristic idea was mocked by the pair of Mount brothers. But their greediness overpowered their ability to laugh therefore they decided to help fund this new project that they code named “Mess-up Good Minds.”

From there we can only speculate what occurred in the next coming weeks. Some people say that the Lards and Mount brothers invented foam parties. Others believe that they took a group vacation to Cabo where they staged a coup at a local brewery. It is also widely speculated that they invented aliens. But we do know that they built their headquarters in a city that was in control of angels. So in order to confuse the angels from fighting back to get their city they built mini-cities that represent different eras and buildings that didn’t have a fourth side.

They made an alliance with the robotic-dwarves and thus their evil plot of taking control over the world began. They changed the name of their new home to “Hollywood” and built a sign to hide their secret base camp underneath it. They forced indentured servants to pose as actors and Media personnel that would be associated with this new “business.” These servants were used to make a profit from the insecurities of ordinary people. The robotic-dwarves used their magical powers to create screens where the projection images would appear in people’s houses. This is the origin of the evil that has occurred in our world including global warming, wars, Joan Rivers, etc.

So now you know the true “Hollywood” story. So next time you think of your favorite actor, or you visit the infamous sign, or feel horribly depressed because you lack self-esteem just remember these “actors” are indentured servants working towards their freedom from their oppressors, the sign houses those evil robotic-dwarves, and you can purchase self-esteem at your local Konfidence Stores.

Comedic Royalty

2010-09-22T16:45:00.000-07:00

There are Kings and Queens
Who will rule above all
With the spunk of teens
And the fame of a curtain call

To the naked eye they look average
Yet they are known to be loopy.
They speak the comedic language
And one day you'll be their groupie

As a group their powers combine
To tickle their guests' funny bone
In their own way they will define
How funny will henceforth be known

Be prepared to never forget their name
Because their dreams are going to soar
They will be surrounded with comedic fame
They are the Kings and Queens from ROAR

Only You Control Your Life

2010-08-12T11:12:00.000-07:00

dream. dream. dream. reality!

2010-08-05T12:59:00.000-07:00

I dream big.

In my dreams I am accomplishing a million things that other people won't do in their lifetimes. I am the best in my craft. I am admired and respected by my peers. I am happy and successful. I am an award winner. I am constantly working, but not to the point where I am unhappy with my career. I have time for work and play. I get the opportunity to share my wisdom with others and help jump start the careers of people. Others look up to me and wish they could be doing what I am doing. I will be remembered for years because of my accomplishments.

If dreams could somehow be transferred to reality we would live in a remarkable world. Superheroes would roam the streets. The villains would be even more bad ass than in movies. We could fly, teleport, use magic, understand multiple languages, go back in time, go to the future, visit space, we can have any career imaginable, animals would talk, we could be athletes, we would live in any time period, we would always get the boy/girl at the end, and we wouldn't need to work because our life would be too entertaining to pause. We could be be power rangers, ninja turtles, mutants, unicorns, royalty, smurfs, fairies, leprechauns, giants, ogres, vampires, vampire slayers, centaurs, gods, transformers or just about anything that we could imagine.

Although we can't make certain aspects of our dreams come true yet (i.e teleportation. wouldn't it be amazing if it were true though?), we can still work hard to make other dreams a reality. Unfortunately many people give up on their dreams to pursue the safe route that society tells us we should focus on like power, money, and specific careers. The safe route is comforting because even if you are not doing well you have the peace of mind that you are following in the "right steps." I have decided to leave the safe path behind and take the hiking trail to pursue my dreams.

To accomplish 10% of my goals/dreams I know that I need to work hard and not wait for things to happen. I know others around me have made big sacrifices to get their career going. I am taking things slowly compared to others, but for now I am happy with that. I don't feel the need to move out to LA or New York just yet and I don't feel the need to actively pursue an agent. Sure that sounds crazy because after all exposure and networking is what you need to succeed in this business but my aspirations are too much for an agent or a different city to handle right now. I am a main troupe member of a fabulous improv-comedy theatre. There my creativity is constantly working, I am training hard for my craft (we work out and train hard to become better actors), I am having a great time, I get to teach members of the troupe what I have learned in acting, I get to help as a leader, and I am performing often. I honestly believe that we can "make it big" soon.

All of the troupe members' dreams are combining to form one big dream bubble and pretty soon it is going to take over the comedy world.

I'm sure we all believe this. I think that is great about us artists. We are faced with a tough reality that most of us won't succeed how we imagine we will because of the grueling demand for the job, but we all have faith and we continue dreaming big that we can be the ones.

Never let those dreams go down the toilet bowl into the land of "I can't pursue because ..." Your dreams make our reality much more enjoyable and bearable.

That is why I am excited for this new path in my life because I get to dream everyday, my reality will be much more exciting because I am doing what I love, and I get to actively pursue my goals with some fabulous people. Oh and in the near future our dreams of comedic domination for Roar Theatre will come true. Just you wait and see.

Little Kid Quote of the Day

2010-07-03T11:07:00.000-07:00

"Is your Pooh heavy enough to be deposited yet?"

(He claims to be talking about a Winnie the Pooh piggy bank. Or was he?)

To Be Funny or Not To Be Funny

2010-07-02T21:41:00.000-07:00

There are many books, articles, classes, and programs to teach you how to be funny. They all give you certain rules to follow to become the best improviser. But they fail to tell the number one rule of being funny.

You must possess a real funny bone.

You can acquire this elusive funny bone in one of two ways: (1) by being born into a funny family or (2) by finding the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow to pay the trolls living in Narnia to use the hand of Midas to turn one of your bones into a funny one.

Only one person in the history of time has been able to follow the second path, the great Papa Smurf, therefore I must elaborate on the first path.

This “family” you are born into must possess at least 5 strong stand-up comedians, 3 avid joke tellers, 7 sarcastic people, 2 drunkards, 1 outcast, 4 drama queens, 1 really old person, 17 unicorn keepers, 1 token child, and 2 socially awkward individuals. If you have met this criteria then all you need to do is click your heels together three times and say “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.” Your funny bone will magically grow within 72 hours but you must continue to nourish it with stellar dancing or it will die.

So if you don’t have a funny family you have a 7.34695% chance of being funny. Or you can always hire a fake family like the magical ninjas from Roar Theatre to help you achieve your funny bone.

extra extra laugh all about it!

2010-05-29T08:42:00.000-07:00

Have you ever thought about growing a funny bone? Are you scared of the dangerous procedure that can prove to you how serious you are? Well, I have good news for you. On June 19 Roar Theatre is holding auditions for it's superly-awesome-tastic troupe. I guarantee* that this group of people will make you laugh so hard that your intestines will blow up and you will be reborn into a life with comedy. You will also learn how to combine comedy and party and believe me my friends THAT will change your life. I was once a person who did not know the two could be combined but now I am saved and have learned to live a life with comedy and party at the same time. So if you are interested in auditioning or learning more about the hotties in the group, check them out at www.roartheatre.com.

*Results not Guaranteed.

when metaphors make a point sound much better

2010-05-20T00:10:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you need to conquer your fears to become the best.

I am conquering my fear of failing onstage. I mean you are asked to get on the stage and be fearless when you are part of a society that indoctrinates fear. That stage is the equivalent to the edge of a 200-foot high building. You are aware of the height and nevertheless you must jump off to accomplish your task.* You slowly turn around, close your eyes, take a deep breath and let yourself fall hoping that there is a giant fluffy mat ready to catch you and protect you. Once you land safely you experience this amazing rush of adrenaline. You can’t believe that you were scared to fall but you're still a bit apprehensive about letting yourself fall freely again.

Improv is one of the most exciting and rewarding performances to be a part of. You can get up on the stage and a make a fool of yourself and that is okay. Actually, that is better than okay because the audience will love you even more. Still there are times when I get nervous or worried that I will do a horrible job, but I am lucky to be performing with an amazing group of people who act like a giant mat in case I fall.

So now I guess it is time to conquer another fear, the big monster, the ultimate mind-blowing, stomach hurting, heart pounding fear: Danny DeVito’s troll foot.

*this is a metaphor. Don’t really jump off a building. That would be bad.