NitroJen's Etiquette Guide When Watching Live Theatre

A friend of mine posted a link on his facebook of an article on yahoo about a new theater that will allow the use of cell phones during LIVE performances. As an actor I think this is the stupidest idea ever! I get that this theater wants to market to a "younger" audience but I would hate to be on stage in the middle of a climatic scene and look out at the audience and see 20 people texting. And as an audience member I think I would throw a fit in the middle of the performance if I saw people using their phone.

That article and my previous post on movie theater etiquette got me thinking about theater etiquette for watching plays, musicals, and live performances. I have seen countless productions ranging from school productions, amateur productions, staged reading of plays, improv shows, stand-up comedy, sketch shows, shows in open spaces, shows in a Black Box theater, touring Broadway tours, Broadway shows, shows on the West End, etc. And I'm an actor, so I consider myself a "theatre" person. (Notice I changed the ending to -re to appear fancier.)

But if people in today's society can barely function correctly watching a movie in a movie theater then it is time to address the etiquette one must maintain when watching live performances. Here are "NitroJen's Tips on Etiquette for Watching Theatre (and Other Live Performances)."

• Silence or turn off cell phones. Putting your phone on vibrate is not the same as silencing it. When your phone vibrates it still makes noise and annoys people near you. It is not that hard to be away from texting, twitter, and facebook for 2 hours.
• Plan to arrive at the theater/venue at least 15 minutes early. Most times the House, the lobby area, will open 15-30 minutes prior to the start of the performance. Arriving 15 minutes before the start of the show allows you ample time to do what you need to do. If I was the ruler of all theaters, I would ban late seating because it should never be used.
• Do not leave before the performance is over. I admit I have been to a few productions that were absolutely horrendous and I couldn't wait to get out of there. But I have stuck it out until the performance is over. Leaving at intermission just makes you look like a douche-bag. And you think you're okay to do that because you feel that people won't notice but, news flash, EVERYONE NOTICES!
• Do not leave your seat before the end of each act. Use the restroom before the show starts and during intermission. We can see you leaving!
• Do not leave when the curtain call is happening. It is not the end of the show yet. I have been in the audience and onstage when I have seen people leave. Really?! You can't wait for two more fucking minutes to allow us actor's to enjoy our (hopefully) well-deserved curtain call?
• Do not leave before the show is over. I can't stress this enough.
• If you are watching a musical, please please please do NOT sing along. I'm aware that the song is absolutely amazing but I paid to watch the hired performers sing and not the person sitting next to me. Plus the few times this has happened to me, the person next to me that was singing was way out of tune and was hurting my eardrums.
• Don't speak during the show. Even whispering can be heard from people sitting far away from you. Sometimes the actors can even hear it. Not to mention that it is annoying every time you move your head closer to the person you are whispering to because it distracts and blocks the view from the people sitting behind you.
• No eating or drinking in the theater.
• If you are going to a show that is suitable for children, make sure your children can behave for 2 hours. There is nothing more annoying than crying children or ones that can't stop talking. (But if your children can behave then bring them along because it warms my heart to see the next generation of theater lovers.)
• Do not put your feet up on the seat in front of you. This is not a movie theater (although you shouldn't really put your feet up on seats there either).
• Be careful with your body odor or perfume/cologne you wear. Sometimes it can be distracting. I once went to watch a show and the guy next to me was wearing this cologne that smelled incredibly good. Problem was that instead of focusing on the action onstage I was focusing on the guy next to me. Another time there was a lady who had the most disgusting B.O. ever. I was surprised I did not throw-up during the show. Moral of the story, make sure before you go to the theater that you take a shower and you don't put on an excessive amount of perfume/cologne.
• Do not talk bad about the production until you are in your own car or at home! I have been to many local productions because I have known someone that is working on the show. So to hear people talking bad about them, the production, or others involved irks me because a lot of time, effort, and passion went into putting on the show. I've also been on the other side where I am not crazy about what I saw onstage. My friend and I went to go watch a show and we did not like the way a particular actor was performing but we held our tongues until we got inside my car. Once we were inside my car and safely away from the ears of anyone working on the show then, and only then, we began listing everything we disliked about the actor's performance. So it is okay to not like what you see and talk about it, but remember just do it when you are completely away from the production.
• If you are watching an improv show, sketch comedy show, or local stand-up show there are a few different rules because sometimes they ask for audience interaction or they serve alcohol, but you still need to be mindful of your manners. You are not funnier than the person on stage. And if you happen to be funnier then go out there and perform! But since you are only in the audience then you shouldn't heckle. It annoys others and we all want to turn you into a human punching bag.
• Be involved with the show. Laugh when something is funny. Gasp when you are shocked. Cry when you are touched or saddened. But don't add your own commentary. I've been performing improv and sketch comedy for a few years now. I do admit that as an actor in these kind of shows we tend to have better shows when the audience is involved and our shows tend to lag when the audience is apathetic. It is the nature of this kind of performance. One of my best shows was when the audience was laughing hysterically, gasping when they were shocked, clapping, and making noise that went along with what was happening on stage. Somehow that energy gets transferred to the actors. But on the other hand I was in a show where the people did not even want to yell out suggestions and I was also in a show where this guy kept adding his own commentary and was trying to impress his date. Those two situations were irritating because I did not need this guy to keep adding to our scenes and the purpose of these shows are audience interactions. So if you decide to attend an improv or sketch comedy show please be willing to participate in an appropriate manner.
• Be on time to the show. I cannot stress this point enough. I leave you with this old saying that my theater director used to say to us, "When you are early, you are on time. When you are on time, you are late. When you are late, you are dead." So think twice about being late to a performance.

It is said that theater is a true community event. So please abide by these rules so that the community, (artists, technicians, backstage personnel, ushers, audience, and anyone else associated with the production), can have a wonderful and engaging experience.

Thought of the Day

I feel like Twitter has given my generation the false impression that they can be journalists by simply retweeting other people's tweets.

NitroJen's Etiquette Guide for Movie Theaters

Normally I have a very busy schedule so when I have some free time to watch movies I tend to opt for my Netflix instant queue as opposed to going out to the movies. The truth is that after a long day I prefer to watch Netflix because I can start the movie at any time, I can pause it whenever I want, I can even change movies if I don't like my original choice, and it is more convenient. And the most important point is that I don't have to deal with people who go to movie theaters because, sadly, it appears they have missed the life lesson on etiquette.

Earlier this week I decided to become adventurous and I went out to catch a movie with a friend. Everything seemed to be going okay. We planned out our evening based around the movie time. I walked up to the ticket booth and cringed when I had to hand over my hard-earned cash. And we were the first people there so we got to choose our VIP seats. But then things went sour. Although the theater was empty, people decided to sit in the seats in front of us and right next to me. People walked in late. People decided to add commentary to the movie. The children were loud and annoying. It reminded me of why I hardly go to the movies.

So I feel it is my duty to educate the public on good movie theater etiquette.

• Don't talk to the people next to you. You may think that your "whispering" is quiet and no one will hear it but in fact you are actually talking in a "stage whisper" which means that MOST people can hear you! I did not want to hear you telling your date how your happy to be there with him. I don't care.
• Don't talk to the movie. The characters can't hear you. Your commentary to the film distracts from the film and it is not funny. If you were a great commentator you would have been paid to add commentary to the movie before it was released in theaters.
• Don't text. We don't care that you had the sudden urge to write something to someone, but we do care that the stupid light on your phone is blinding us. Everyone near you can sense, and see, the bright light. So just don't text.
• Don't look at your phone for any reason. Googling something, checking IMDB to see where you have seen that actor before, checking the time, writing a memo, or whatever it is you are doing, just don't do it. Again, we can see the bright light emanating from your phone.
• Put your phone on silent. You may be the most unpopular person in the world, but chances are, your phone will ring during the movie. Not only is your ringtone annoying but it also takes us away from the world of the movie. For the next two minutes we are silently cursing you in our minds and will most likely miss out on an important line in the movie.
• If you somehow managed to forget that you did not put your phone on silent and it starts ringing, then you should immediately turn it off. Don't, don't, don't ever answer it. If you must answer it then put it on silent and wait until you get outside the theater to answer it.
• If someone is sitting in front of you don't kick the chair. it is rude. Your lucky that I have the common decency to not turn around and punch you.
• If someone is sitting next to the chair in front of you, don't put your feet up on the chair in front of you. We don't want to smell your feet.
• Plan to get there on time. We all know that there will be a couple of minutes of previews but when you are tripping over people to get to a seat in the middle of the aisle, well you deserved to get "accidentally" tripped.
• Use the restroom and buy all your concessions before the movie starts. It is not your living room where you can get up at your convenience.
• No pda. We can hear that slurping sound. And we know it is not from an Icee.
• If you are going to bring children, please make sure they are courteous and old enough to not talk, not cry, and not disturb people around them.
• It is easy to just throw garbage on the floor while the movie is playing, but when it is done it would be nice to pick it up and throw it away.
• When there are multiple seats open in the theater don't sit in front of me. My friend and I were the only ones in the theater and we were resting our feet on top of the chairs in front of us. This couple had the audacity to not only sit in the two seats in front of us but they gave us dirty looks to move our feet. Really?! You couldn't sit anywhere else?

For those of you that adhere to these rules, THANK YOU. For those of you that don't, well you are the problem with humanity.