NitroParents were planning to spend a Friday night going out. They didn’t know where to go on their date night, so I suggested they attend a Roar Theatre show and watch my friends and I perform. They said no. I told them they had an obligation to support their child by attending her show. They said they would think about it. After a few days of crying, begging, throwing tantrums, bribing, and finally blackmailing, they decided to attend a show. I asked them to review the show and here is what they said.
NitroDad
When they were asking suggestions I wanted to say some but I did not know if it would be right or wrong. So I just sat there. Are there wrong suggestions? How do people know what to suggest? I suggested things in my head. Well, there were some good things in the show. It was very funny. I liked it. I did. I’m funny. Do you want to hear one of my jokes? I went to a party yesterday and a white guy cut in front of the food line right in front of me. He turned around and said, “Sorry, I hope you don’t mind that a gringo cut in front of you.” I asked him if he knew the origins of the word gringo. He said no. So I told him I was going to tell him how the story came about of the word gringo. Here let me tell you. It is a funny joke. A long time ago a white man went to Tijuana before they called them gringos. He was driving and he came across the only stoplight in Tijuana and it was a red light so he stopped. He started looking at stuff in his car and didn’t realize that the light had turned green. So the police came by and kept yelling “Green, go! Green, go! Green, go!” So from then on that word was associated with white people. (NitroDad paused his review for a three minute laugh fest). That was a good joke. I like telling that one. I can tell that during a Roar show and the audience will laugh a lot. You know I am funnier than you. Can I join the group?
NitroMom
Very nice show and, uh, I like the natural comeback from all of your suggestions given from the public. I don’t know how to explain it to you but every time they got a suggestion you were all able to do scenes. That was nice that you could take a word and just keep talking and sometimes something funny would be said. All of you were fine. I liked it. Good hell of a job. But in the dancing part I am sure I can teach you some steps. Those two guys that did the dancing scene did a good job and they were funny! But I could have done better. Back in my day, I would always dance crazy. Gee, I almost got up when you guys had the music. Especially at the end of the show, the music was calling me to the stage. I wanted to jump on the stage and give a good performance to show off my dancing skills. The music got my adrenaline going high. I felt the music in my body. I am sure if I got on stage to dance it would have been a better show. The music at the end of the show was very danceable. Who chose it? They did a good job of selecting songs. I started dancing in my seat. The cast was saved from my dancing because my husband pulled my blouse to sit down. Keep up the good job and I wish you guys luck. You might need it since the funniest part was seeing a bunch of losers on stage.
NitroParents: funnier, better dancers, and being supportive since… well, you get the idea.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
OPERATION: S.L.U.T.
I just happened to be updating my supply of deadly ninja star products at a local Target where I overheard an 80 year old woman tell her grandson that he must embark upon a quest of epic proportions to continue the family tradition. It was his duty as a single nerd to create mass boring confusion in today's society. By doing this he would be granted access to the secret supply of delicious chocolate hidden in her safe and he would be given a special medal. You know one of those medals that you can show off to people at parties and they actually care to talk about it. The kind of medal that can grant you special privileges because the shininess momentarily blinds your opponent’s train of thought and ability to use common sense.
I quickly grabbed the purple and gold ninja stars and proceeded to secretly dance out of aisle twelve. I processed the information I had just heard on the miniature computer on my PEZ dispenser. I realized that I needed to muster all my courage to stop these evil villains from draining the world of fun. I grabbed some mints and left to go plot out my plan at the holiest of meeting places; Starbucks. I did not know what to do so I searched for inspiration by finishing a Sudoku puzzle, finishing a coloring book, and initiating a rap battle with the oldest person I could see. Then it hit me; I needed to become my inner superhero and protect humanity. I needed to conquer this villain of apathy, carelessness, seriousness, and bad hygiene. That was the beginning of OPERATION: S.L.U.T. (Stop Local Unreliable Talent).
I paid my grandma $20 to make me a costume and that was the birth of “NitroJen: Comedic Superhero.” I would go on patrol every night to defend the world of people who try to make us too serious. But I would have to stop patrol at 9:30pm because I had a curfew. I battled against high-school bullies, politicians, psychics, and comedians who force their funny on the audience – all in preparation for my major battle with the Grandson Nerd.
When I felt ready to battle him I lured him to The Cave of Wonders for the real showdown a la Mortal Kombat status. The first round was a match of Connect Four. He won that first round. I was weaker than I had imagined so I prayed to the almighty Will Ferrell to help me win this battle. Round Two was a race through the Temple run from Legends of the Hidden Temple. We were neck and neck and it all came down to assemble the Shrine of the Silver Monkey. I put it together in record time while he fumbled around. Now it was down to the final round – Comedy Gladiator. We had 30 minutes to do improv in front of an audience and at the end the audience will vote on who was the all around funny person. It was tough. He immediately used the pop culture card but he exhausted all his jokes at the beginning. I, on the other hand, chose to take the audience on an intellectual journey without cheap jokes. It was close, but I had defeated the Grandson Nerd!
NitroJen continues to patrol every night in hopes of completing OPERATION: S.L.U.T. to rid the world of bad comedy. (She wrote this in the third person to sound more intelligent.)
I quickly grabbed the purple and gold ninja stars and proceeded to secretly dance out of aisle twelve. I processed the information I had just heard on the miniature computer on my PEZ dispenser. I realized that I needed to muster all my courage to stop these evil villains from draining the world of fun. I grabbed some mints and left to go plot out my plan at the holiest of meeting places; Starbucks. I did not know what to do so I searched for inspiration by finishing a Sudoku puzzle, finishing a coloring book, and initiating a rap battle with the oldest person I could see. Then it hit me; I needed to become my inner superhero and protect humanity. I needed to conquer this villain of apathy, carelessness, seriousness, and bad hygiene. That was the beginning of OPERATION: S.L.U.T. (Stop Local Unreliable Talent).
I paid my grandma $20 to make me a costume and that was the birth of “NitroJen: Comedic Superhero.” I would go on patrol every night to defend the world of people who try to make us too serious. But I would have to stop patrol at 9:30pm because I had a curfew. I battled against high-school bullies, politicians, psychics, and comedians who force their funny on the audience – all in preparation for my major battle with the Grandson Nerd.
When I felt ready to battle him I lured him to The Cave of Wonders for the real showdown a la Mortal Kombat status. The first round was a match of Connect Four. He won that first round. I was weaker than I had imagined so I prayed to the almighty Will Ferrell to help me win this battle. Round Two was a race through the Temple run from Legends of the Hidden Temple. We were neck and neck and it all came down to assemble the Shrine of the Silver Monkey. I put it together in record time while he fumbled around. Now it was down to the final round – Comedy Gladiator. We had 30 minutes to do improv in front of an audience and at the end the audience will vote on who was the all around funny person. It was tough. He immediately used the pop culture card but he exhausted all his jokes at the beginning. I, on the other hand, chose to take the audience on an intellectual journey without cheap jokes. It was close, but I had defeated the Grandson Nerd!
NitroJen continues to patrol every night in hopes of completing OPERATION: S.L.U.T. to rid the world of bad comedy. (She wrote this in the third person to sound more intelligent.)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)